With a Bang
by The Angry American
Summary: What if Kelso managed to lit the rocket just to close out the new year and a new decade? Will it actually go well, or get a whole lot worse? Takes place in the series finale "That 70's Finale". Named the title only for one reason.


**"With A Bang"**

**Rated M for gore  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing associated with "That 70's Show" including its characters.**

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It was finally New Year's Eve. 1979.

A year like that eventually means that the 70's were about to come to a close. Everyone in the Forman's household showed up for the occasion. Fez and Jackie were now together as a couple, Hyde was downing beer after beer hoping to get drunk, Bob was crying his heart out (God knows what), Leo was basically high as he usually is, and Kitty and Red were busy sharing a drink after deciding to stay in the house that remained a part of their lives. The only two people that was still missing was both Eric and Laurie. Eric still didn't show up from his half-year trip to Africa, and Laurie was still fooling around in some foreign country, looking for sex and something to drink.

However, things got very interesting when Kelso came in the living room from the kitchen. And with a rocket in hand nonetheless.

"Hey, Mr. Forman," asked Kelso. "Can I light this off in your house?"

"Sure, and then I can light my foot off in your ass." Red smirked.

Kelso was disappointed. He really wanted to light a rocket off inside the Forman's household, but Red's objection was truthful at best. Lighting off a model rocket would cause the whole house to burst in flames.

But Hyde thought up an idea.

"Hey, Kelso. We can go light it outside." Hyde replied.

"You're reading my frickin' mind, man!" Kelso smiled, racing out of the living room and out of the house.

"If that rocket lands anywhere near my house and catches my fire, my foot's gonna fire all over your ass!" Red shouted at Kelso.

Meanwhile, Kitty had second thoughts about this.

"You really think he's gonna do it, Red?" Kitty raised an eyebrow.

"Well Kitty, if Kelso doesn't manage to set the house on fire, then I'll let it pass," Red responded, "But if that dumbass dies, we'll blame it on Bob."

"Agreed..." Kitty muttered as Red and the rest of the group left the living room.

Outside of the Forman's house, Kelso was busy lighting the rocket, much to his failure. He was having trouble trying to get the lighter open.

"Damn it! This lighter's broken," Kelso complained. "Anybody got a spare?"

"Here buddy, use mine!" Fez exclaimed, running over to hand Kelso a fresh lit lighter.

"Thanks, Fez!" Kelso smiled, taking the lighter.

With one single spark, Kelso held the little glow of flame and sent it near the rope. When the flame touched the rope, it brought out a million sparks, indicating that the rocket was successfully lit.

Meanwhile, Jackie and Fez were busy sharing a little mutter or two, thinking second thoughts about Kelso's little stunt as well.

"You really think it's safe for Michael to do that?" Jackie whispered to Fez.

"C'Mon, he's Kelso! You can set his hands on fire and yet he wouldn't even feel the pain! Don't worry about it, my Sweet Jackie!" Fez chuckled.

"Quiet everyone, it's gonna go off," Kelso said, silencing everyone.

The brain-dead pretty boy was right. The rocket was about to go off, especially when the sparks was seconds away from lighting the fuse.

As soon as it reached it's limit...

...the rocket immediately shot up the air...

...

...and took Kelso with it!

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kelso screamed in joy.

He was actually flying! To the point where would he could see the entire town of Point Place from sky-high! This was a momentous occasion for Kelso and everyone watching. Hopefully, he would imagine Brooke and baby Betsy watching him from the night sky.

Red was speechless at best. No wonder Kelso's stupid stunt actually worked.

"Well I'll be a dog's ass," Red muttered. "The rocket thing actually worked."

"I owe you money so bad, Red..." Kitty muttered as well.

However, something shocking occurred. As soon as Kelso was still flying high...

_*BAAAAAAANG!*_

...the rocket that contained Kelso blew up into a row of fireworks!

And as a shock, so did Kelso! His little body was blown to holy hell, which brought out a shock and awe from Eric's own family and friends!

"Oh my god, Michael!" Jackie gasped.

"I knew it was gonna be a bad idea..." Donna muttered under her mouth.

And then, the sky started to rain blood as if it was some sort of bad omen. It wasn't very surprising since the blood that was raining from the sky came out of Kelso himself!

"It's actually raining idiot blood," Hyde replied in disbelief. "This is the best new year's party ever..."

But then out of the blue, Kelso's disembodied head fell through the grass. Yet Kelso was still smiling.

With a shudder, Fez actually picked up Kelso's head, and thought of this little aftermath. He looked at Kelso's face with horror,

"Well, not all of this is bad," Fez replied. "At least Kelso died with a smile."

But before they could try to grieve, Donna heard police sirens coming through the neighborhood.

"Holy shit, the cops are coming," Donna said, panicking for her life, "What on earth do we do?"

Without having any time to think...

...Fez threw Kelso's disembodied head over to Bob as the rest of the crew raced back inside.

Bob didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to do with Kelso's head to be exact. He was confused and speechless at the same time.

Before he could get back into the house, the police sirens sounded off on him. Bob was fucked, especially when the cops approached him.

"Bob Pinciotti, I hereby place you under arrest for the cannibalistic murder of Michael Kelso via a plastic rocket," The cop said, looking pissed off, "Anything you have to say before we take you in for a very long time?"

"Oh, fucknuts..." Bob whined.

And then, the police arrested Bob and beat the holy shit out of him. He was sentenced to life in prison where he was raped. So far, everyone forgot Kelso, nobody cared about Eric and everyone had a Happy New Year.

And the late Michael Kelso was right. The new year and new decade did start off with a bang...

Literally.

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**Well, that's Kelso for you, I guess.**

**Anyway, what did everyone think? R&R, everyone.**


End file.
